Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Victory for The Dark Side

This past Saturday, The Dark Side had its first scrimmage, against another work team called the Rockers. This matchup was especially anticipated by me, because the coach of the Rockers, a good work friend of mine, is also a big smack talker. Only half of his team (7 players) showed up, while 9 players from my team were there. As a result, each team provided a pitcher for the other side, to field full teams (we also provided a catcher for them). The contest wasn't really even close. At the end of the second inning, it was 7 to 2, and the deficit kept growing. The final score was a resounding 18 to 9, a crushing defeat to the half-present Rockers and a spirit-lifting victory for the overwhelming force known as The Dark Side! I had our team wear their jersies to the scrimmage, while the other team was just in street clothes. I think that helped intimidate the opposition. Our final test will be this Saturday, at the first annual Softball Summer Slam! Four softball games in one day. I hope our endurance holds up. I would ask you to wish us luck, but there is no luck. There is only the force. The DARK side of the force! We will do. Or do not. There is no try.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

My Jersey is HERE!

Ok, this is kind of out of the blue, because I haven't really mentioned it here before, but I am the coach of a softball team at my place of employment. There are a total of four teams which will meet in an epic showdown on June 25th, for an inter-company tournament to end all tournaments. There was a nifty draft, where the coaches got to choose their weapons for the field. After rosters were filled, the smack talking commenced around the office and practices were scheduled. I managed to draft the CEO of our company, which so far has been a smart choice. He knows my name now, and thinks I am quite a character, although he hasn't yet made it to a practice. It remains to be seen whether my plan turns into what my co-workers call a CLM (career limiting move). Our last practice is a scrimmage against one of the other teams, this Saturday in Seattle. Hopefully the CEO's schedule will open up enough to come. Our team is The Dark Side (of course!). Not a better team name has been thought of in the history of softball, in my humble opinion. In honor of my team, I grew a mustache and goatee, to become Bizzarro evil Darbo for the duration of the time that the team is together.

But to the big news: Our jersies arrived today!! They look very snappy and ominous; black, with white lettering. I shall try to get a picture of it up tonight, if I get the time. But in any case, now that the team is fully outfitted, 'there will be no one to stop us this time!'


Don't mess with The Dark Side!


Don't look at my bum!


Ok, this one might be a little much...

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

My face is numb

I have just returned from the dentist. Three cavities filled. That's what I get for seeking out donuts, cookies, and ice cream all day, I guess. Part of me still suspects that dentists try their hardest to find something to drill each time you go in there. Alas...

The upper left side and lower right side of my face are the numb parts. It makes for quite a strange sensation. I don't know why anyone would be interested in reading this. I will stop talking about it.

On another note, boy, I sure am glad I can start sending my kids to Neverland Ranch again! From now on, for any child that is molested by Jackson, the crime falls on the parents. The parents are the ones that should be arrested, if they allow their kids access to that freak. No excuses.

I hear in the media "Oh, Michael's career may never be the same." I think that is crap. People knew the kind of guy he was before this whole thing. If they didn't believe he was a strange, creepy looking kid toucher back in '93, this new episode isn't going to change their minds. So I believe his career is pretty much the same as it was before this trial: Mostly washed up, but with enough idiots out there that think he's a sweetheart to still scrape a decent living from his newer, mediocre music.

Friday, June 10, 2005

To cleanse the palate

Okey Dokey -

After the deep diatribe I just laid down yesterday, I thought I would put up something a little lighter. I had a request for more baby pictures. So, I shall oblige. Let me find something.......there!


"Hmmm....that's interesting, after hitting all those numbers, the phone is speaking japanese at me!" Posted by Hello

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Crazy people on the bus

I occasionally spot them when riding Metro, in downtown Seattle, to and from work. Today I heard a couple of unbalanced ladies expounding upon what I can only guess was astrology. They were talking about getting their "Solar Returns" done, or some such thing. I was imagining them getting their taxes audited by the sun...it was quite amusing. They were prattling on about being self taught as opposed to having a tutor, and something about Pluto being in alignment, or out of alignment, or maybe being Mickey's faithful dog. It was hard to keep track, to say the least.

They got me to thinking more generally about the connection between things like astrology and Mormonism (to any Mormons reading, I apologize in advance...you may want to skip this article). I was thinking about how no matter how much doctrine, teachings, and history may be behind a certain philosophy, if the core of the belief is built upon something too preposterous to possibly be true, it follows that NOTHING that comes after it can really be believed. Even if some of the teachings of these ways of thinking happen to be true, the reason for them being so wouldn't branch from the philosophy itself, but be because of some external reason that makes them true or right. Allow me to explain:

The core belief of Astrology contends that each person's behavior and personality can be predicted based on when in the year they were born, because of gravitational forces from planets within the solar system. Now, it takes at a minimum 9 months for our fastest interplanetary ships to travel the 49 million miles to our closest planetary neighbor, Mars. That is our CLOSEST neighbor. Our own moon has a much larger gravitational effect on earth than any of the other planets in the solar system. Astrology would be more believable if it were somehow based on the moon, as opposed to distant rocks that happen to also orbit the sun. I'm sure some of you astrology folks are going to try and tell me that the moon factors into the hocus pocus astrological equations as well, but sorry. Not buying it. A salt shaker across the delivery room from a mother giving birth has more gravitational impact on a new child than Jupiter or Saturn.

So as a result, when someone says, "Oh, you're an Ares. You must be --fill in the blank--", you can logically say, "Oh, you're into astrology. You must be an idiot." Because even if whatever they said happened to be true (which it probably is, since what is most likely said is so generic and flattering that you wish it to be true anyway), it wouldn't be because of astrology that it was so.

Now we come to Mormonism. Now being a Christian, I can appreciate the upright living style of the modern day Mormon. I haven't checked the crime statistics, but I would guess that Utah has some of the lowest crime in the country. Mormons that I have met have been very kind to their fellow man, and tend to stay away from evil vices of most sorts. They are pretty decent folk. That being said, the entire basis of their religion seems in my opinion to be a bad joke gone awry. Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, was a troubled juvenile delinquent who wandered into the woods one day as a young boy, and came back claiming he talked to God. When people started believing him, he then claimed that God showed him a cave where there were a bunch of metal plates buried with ancient writing on them. He said God showed him how to translate them, but wouldn't let anyone down into the cave to have a look for themselves. He also wouldn't bring any of the plates up. He would just go down there alone, for hours, and come back up with some scrawlings of what he claimed were translations. He then put them all together in a book, and published it when he was about 20. That was the start of his church. No miracles, no proof of anything, just a troubled child claiming he had a chat with the Almighty and producing some papers from a cave.

As a result, everything that comes from the religion of Mormonism has to be looked at with the idea that the foundation of the religion comes unsubstantiated from a kid. Sure, Mormonism adopted a lot of what it is from the Bible, to bolster its credibility in my opinion (and probably because making up an entire religion is pretty hard for a youngster), but everything that strays from the Bible has its philosophy founded on good old Joe and his cave for one.

Anyway, that was what was going through my mind today when riding the bus. But I do have a tendency to rant.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Just a quick Star Wars thought...

Interesting that moisture farmers have a "harvest season". Is that the season where the desert provides more water out of the air? And if so, how would that require more farm hands? Is the water physically transported by droids or people from the vaporators to a holding tank? You'd think with their technology, they would at least have some sort of underground pipes that would funnel the water to wherever they would store it.

Tatooine doesn't seem to be a place that would experience much of a change of seasons. Feel free to discuss...

Monday, June 06, 2005

Scanner!

My friend Mike B. moved to Oregon abruptly a couple of weeks ago. On the last evening, during frantic moving truck loading, he offered me some old electronics that he no longer needed. The most exciting thing I got was a Cannon scanner. I had never owned a scanner before, so now a whole new pasttime has opened up to me...scanning old pictures before the advent of digital. I am constantly amazed at how detailed the little scanner captures photos. In honor of my departed friend and my new gadget, here is one of my favorite pictures of my son, taken when he was only 7 weeks old. Enjoy!


What the....I'm falling! FALLLLINNNNGGG! Posted by Hello

Friday, June 03, 2005

Do I or don't I?

I've been considering changing the name of my blog to "Punch it Chewie!" Although I really enjoy the non sequitur of the current title, I haven't really discussed anything Seinfeld on here (where the phrase comes from, fyi). I don't know. I'm torn. Dingo has kind of grown on me. What do you think?